The Secret Past of Cassidy Falcon Fillmore
by Megan McGory
Summary: Everyone's past (Cassidy, Butch, Jesse and James) from Cassidy's point of view, and is a WYDS for some shows, and Desperate to Save a Rose. (Sequel to Lavender Rose)
1. Part One

*A/N* There are references to the TV Show "Dark Shadows" in this, but it's not enough to be a crossover so to speak. You can't even tell unless you've watched both shows. Sorry this story is in 2 parts, it's really only one, but you know, like the movie "Titanic" it's long and has to be split somewhere! "Higher" is by Creed, so I obviously can't take credit for it.  
  
  
The Secret Past of Cassidy Falcon Fillmore  
  
by Megan McGory  
  
I am Cassidy Falcon Fillmore. I may have an unusual middle name, but most people don't know it. Most people don't want to know it. They don't want to know me. Everyone always seems to desert me... What have I really done? I'm 27 years old, and it seems as though my life is going nowhere. Maybe if I stayed back home in Maine I would have something going for me. However, like the falcon in my name, the falcon that is my spirit, I had to spread my wings and fly. My mother never tried to clip my wings, for when she was a child, her wings were. That is why she named me what she did, so that I may always be free.  
  
My mother was born into a rich family, and lived in a huge house on a vast estate. Her mother was a recluse, and she never knew her father while she was growing up. She ended up being rebellious up until she met my father. She was only 19 when they met, but they didn't marry until she was almost 25. Paralleling her own mother, she had me when she was in her late 30's. She once told me that she became scared when that happened; she was afraid she would become her mother. Again, that is why my middle name is falcon.  
  
The huge estate I mentioned before was called Collinwood. My grandmother, Elizabeth Collins Stoddard, ran the huge mansion until her death when I was only six. My mother, Carolyn, and my father, Adam, decided to live in a smaller house on the estate which they called The House by the Sea. Mom claimed I wouldn't be spoiled if we lived there.  
  
One day while I was out spying on my older cousins, (a favorite pastime since I didn't have much else to do) I ran into a girl with long red hair. She was wearing an old dress with several patches in it, and ran away when she caught me staring at her. Naturally, I followed her; afterall, who was this girl, and why was she trespassing on the great Collins estate?  
  
My curiosity grew even more when I saw where she had gone. There was an old abandoned caretaker's cottage that had last been used some ten years before, and she had gone inside. I had to tell mom!  
  
Not too long afterwards, Mom and I were on the cottage doorstep, ready to pound the door down. A woman with beautiful violet hair answered the door, and Mother demanded to know exactly who she was and what she was doing there. I hardly listened while she answered my mother, for I was so taken with her beauty. I, being only 7, had never seen such a striking woman, even though many of my cousins were what you could call pretty. This woman wore a simple black dress with a large "R" sewed to the front. Her name, I learned, was Miyamoto. She told my mother that she and her daughter needed a place to stay, and my mom, being a caring woman, let her stay in the cottage for free. After all, no one was using it, and it would eventually fall into disrepair. They ended up talking for a while, and it was during that time I was formally introduced to Miyamoto's daughter, Jesse.  
  
That's right, the same Jesse I was once envious of, and in a way, still am. She's married to a man who loves her and I? My heart has been given to a man, who has left me--but now...  
  
I digress. Anyway, Jesse and I became best friends, mainly because we had a lot in common, and she lived so close. The other kids at school made fun of me because I "was a snob" and a "spoiled rich brat." Mom told me that kids were just as heartless when she was in school; they called Grandmother crazy and old. The people and, hence their children, were spiteful only because we had a lot of money and that my pompous uncle Roger owned nearly all the business in our small fishing town of Collinsport.  
  
I almost wish I had never gone to a public school. If I hadn't, I never would have met Butch Fox. Besides Jesse, he was really my only other friend, although we weren't close in grade school. He was a quiet kid who sat with me and Jesse at my lunch table in the cafeteria, and whom I let copy my homework occasionally. He bowed out of my life, once I left public school. I didn't leave school because of the relentless taunting of those brats. No, I didn't leave because of them at all.  
  
I left because of Jesse.  
  
It had been a cold, rainy day. I had stayed after school to help out one of my teachers while Jesse went home. I took the late bus home, but unfortunately the roads had become a little icy. I got home extremely late, and when I burst in the door I could hear sobbing. "She can't be, Mrs. Fillmore!" was all I could make out. Jesse was sobbing?   
  
I set down my books by the door and slowly walked into the sitting room. Mom was holding Jesse, whose eyes were all puffy and red. She saw me, and pulled away. My cousin Julia, who was a doctor, was standing next to Jesse. I looked from Jesse, to Julia, to my mother, and suddenly my heart began to race.   
  
"What's happened?"  
  
Mother's eyes filled with tears, and Julia quickly interrupted. "I'm going to take Jesse upstairs, Carolyn, and give her a sedative."  
  
She nodded, and they both left the room. Mom walked over to the window and stared out at the rain. "Some people whom Jesse's mother worked with came to the estate today."  
  
I was confused. Why would that be such a big deal?  
  
She continued. "They wanted to take Jesse away; and told me that their boss now had custody of her.. I demanded a reason why, and they informed me that Jesse's mother was killed on the job yesterday."  
  
"Dead? How...." The realization of what happened finally sunk in. "This can't be! They can't take Jesse away! They can't! They can't!" Mom placed a caring hand on my shoulder as I too, began to cry.  
  
"They aren't going to take Jesse away. I called the woman who has custody of her and we're going to work something out. Your father and I have discussed adopting Jesse so that she won't lose everything she has come to know here." She ran her hand through my hair. "Don't worry Cass, she'll be able to stay."  
  
And stay she did. Madam Boss agreed (because I think my mother gave her a "donation") to give my mother custody of Jesse, and that was the end of it.  
  
Jesse and I moved into Collinwood where we would be home-schooled with my other cousins. Life at Collinwood was much different than it had been in the House by the Sea. After Jesse had finished mourning and began to rebuild her life, we became as close as sisters. We shared clothes and toys and stories, and we went exploring. It stayed this way until Jesse and I turned ten. That was the year I first saw, or even heard of, a pokemon.  
  
It started with a formal dinner that Uncle Roger planned. There was a family whom he had met while he was out on a business trip to New Orleans. Salvador Dorrance was a man of many trades, and he was the man who introduced my great uncle to pokemon.  
  
Now I must say something. Collinsport was a very isolated place. What we called "animals" were actually rare pokemon. We didn't know this of course, so all our robins and cardinals, chickadees and bluebirds were highly sought after by pokemon researchers. So Uncle Roger, wanting to know more about Pokemon, invited Mr. Dorrance and his family up to Collinwood. On the night of the dinner, Jesse had decided to head out to her favorite spot to think. I preferred to stay inside and wait around for dinner time.  
  
Mr. Dorrance and his family arrived around four. The first thing I noticed about his son were his large, green eyes. He was so cute, and more attractive than any of the boys my age in Collinsport. Then again, we WERE only ten! He introduced himself as James. It was then that Jesse burst in the door and received unapproving looks from Mr. & Mrs. Dorrance; I knew then that they followed the strict rules of etiquette. The way James' eyes lit up when Jesse came in the way she did told me he wanted to be able to act like that. His wings had been clipped- which had done major damage to his soul.  
  
Mr. Dorrance and Uncle Roger went into the Drawing Room to talk while Mom showed James and his mother the house. Jesse went with them and I, curious as ever, decided to eavesdrop on the conversation in the next room.  
  
"I tell you, Mr. Collins, we don't know what to do with the boy. We have his fiancee' trying to teach him the proper way, and why he should act like us. She's not with us currently as this is a test to see if he can behave properly--without prompting."  
  
James was engaged? Why, he was no older than Jesse nor I, and we were only ten! Still curious, I listened on.  
  
"Well, Mr. Dorrance, my son David was a tyrant as well, but his mother had unfortunately died and he was feeling a bit of resentment. We tried everything, but apparently getting a new governess did the trick. He straightened out, having the most progress with Miss Winters."  
  
"I see. Where is this governess now?"  
  
"Damned if I know. She left us over 25 years ago to get married."  
  
"And your son? What does he do now?"  
  
"David has become quite successful doing whatever he does--some sort of metaphysician philosopher, I guess--whatever that is. He wasn't too interested in the family fishing business. And your son? What will he do?"  
  
Mr. Dorrance sighed loudly, "He wants to become a pokemon trainer. I keep telling him there's no money in it unless he becomes a gym leader, or president of the pokemon league. I would prefer that he doesn't play with the animals though-- I wish he would become a lawyer. Nonetheless, we're sending him to Pokemon Tech. It might do him a little good and show him some discipline.."  
  
"Pokemon Tech? That sounds like a great idea. What do they do there?"  
  
"Oh, they teach the children how to battle and raise pokemon. I think it might show James that he really DOESN'T want to be a trainer."  
  
"I wonder if the girls would like it?" Uncle Roger asked, "I'm going to talk with my niece about sending her girls there too."  
  
Just then, our maid, Mrs. Johnson, came out and announced dinner was ready.  
  
During dinner, Roger and Mr. Dorrance talked about business. Jesse was sitting across from James, and they were flirting and making faces at each other. They both completely ignored me and I was hurt tremendously. I liked James, and James liked Jesse, and Jesse was my best friend! How could they do this to me? For the first time in my life, I felt my blood begin to boil.  
  
After dinner was even worse. Roger and Mr. Dorrance went to the Study for some brandy and cigars, and I followed Mom to the Drawing Room with Mrs. Dorrance. All we did was listen to Mrs. Dorrance's boring prattle. She was driving me crazy, doing nothing but rattle on and on about James' fiancee. I could have cared less. (Mother later told me that she couldn't stand the "hoity-toity bitch.") Mrs. Dorrance was beautiful on the outside, but that was as far as it went.   
  
My only salvation came when my cousin Quentin came to the doorway of the Drawing Room and asked if anyone cared to join him for a walk to the Old House. The Old House was the original Collinwood, built around 1660. The current Collinwood was built in 1795. Either way, there were still some distant cousins of mine living there- Julia, whom I mentioned earlier, was one of them. I nearly littreally jumped at the chance to go with Quentin!  
  
So, Quentin and I set out on our little journey through the woods. I told him how boring Mrs. Dorrance was, and he laughed, saying he remembered feeling the same when he was my age. "Adults are boring," he said, "and fortunately I never grew up!"  
  
We continued talking and laughing until we got to the Old House. He asked me if I could make it back to Collinwood all right and I told him I could.  
  
As soon as he disappeared into the house, I suddenly wondered where Jesse and James had gone after dinner. My instincts told me she had gone to Widow's Hill-- the infamous cliff where many a woman had fallen to her death. It also happened to be Jesse's favorite spot to think.   
  
I wish I hadn't been right. I found Jesse- and James- there, lying on the ground staring up at the stars. They were laughing and giggling, completely oblivious to the fact I was even there. They had likely sneaked out of Collinwood and worse, they hadn't taken me with them!  
  
Jesse rolled onto her stomach and faced James. "I have a great idea!" she said.  
  
"What's that?"  
  
Her face lit up. "We should become blood friends! That way we'll never be apart."  
  
He arched both eyebrows. "What do I have to do?"  
  
"Well," she shrugged. "It's actually quite simple. You take a knife and you just cut your hand- and I'll cut mine too and then we clasp our hands together!"  
  
"Ok.. but it won't hurt too much will it?"  
  
She rolled her eyes. "It's only a little cut, James!" and with that, produced a small knife from her pocket. As she pierced the skin on the palm of her hand, she bit her lip; James' eyes grew wide as a small pool of blood formed. She smiled as she grabbed his hand, and as she skillfully cut his hand, he let out a cry.  
  
"Shh, James, it only hurts for a second! There!"  
  
He stared in awe at the pool of blood now forming in his own hand, looked to Jesse, and smiled.   
  
The moment their hands clasped together a stake was driven through our friendship; though my heart. We had known each other for four years now, yet we were not blood friends! How dare she become blood friends with James after knowing his for mere hours! How dare she do that to our friendship!  
  
With tears running down my face, I stifled sobs as I ran back to Collinwood; and when I went to sleep that night I knew that things would never be the same again.  
  
Mom eventually DID decide to send Jesse and I to Pokemon Tech. Before I left, however, she had gone out to buy a Pidgey for me for my eleventh birthday; and so I could have a friend (besides Jesse, whom she thought was my friend still--and Jesse herself thought so too..). Little did she know, Pidgey was my only comfort in those first few weeks at Pokemon Tech.  
  
Jesse and I only had one class together- Pokemon Care. The few times we talked in that class, I learned that James was in four of Jesse's classes. From that point on, Jesse and I steadily grew apart.  
  
I saw them together all over campus. Jesse always attracted all the guys- much to my dismay- but her only close friend was James. The year passed quickly.   
  
For some reason, I actually invited Jesse and James to a party I was holding the night before the final exam. As soon as they walked in, I became envious. The way James acted around Jesse rudely showed me the reason why I had been so upset that night in the woods-- I had a crush on James from the moment I saw him. All the guys wanted Jesse and no one wanted me!  
  
They ended up staying late, and the next morning they made it to the exam hall with only seconds to spare. When the results of our exams came in later that day, I was elated to learn that I had the highest score! T ran to tell Jesse right away!  
  
When I found her and told her though, her eyes turned to ice. With tears in her eyes, she hissed, "How could you?"  
  
And she walked away. Something fluttered to the floor next to my feet; Jesse's exam grade. I picked up the paper and stared in shock at the grade. Jesse had failed the test.  
  
As I continued to stare at the paper, I suddenly felt glad. I smiled and began to laugh; the tables had finally been turned! Finally Jesse was jealous of me- and I could only rub it in her face! All this time I envied James and her- and this was payback. Jesse may have had the looks, but I had the brains. Victory was mine.  
  
Mom came to pick us up a little while later. Jesse wasn't there; she was probably going to be fashionably late.  
  
But she never came. She and James had disappeared and I never saw her again; not for over six years. Mom and the Dorrances began a search for Jesse and James, but I knew what happened. After the exam, we learned that both Jesse and James had gotten the lowest scores in the history of the school. Maybe they had run away to a place where they could succeed.  
  
It was a good thing they never came back. Jesse and I could never be friends again anyway- we hadn't been since that night in the woods. I moved back to the House by the Sea, and was tutored at home. My days were passed by doing my lessons in the morning- and the afternoons were spent on the beach (in nice weather anyway). I often read by the sea, and my Pidgey would do some exercises. Pidgey and I were always together.   
  
By the time I turned 12, he had evolved into Pidgeotto, and when I turned 15, he evolved into Pidgeot. It was like we grew up together, and, as Pidgeot, he often let me ride on his back when he flew.  
  
One beautiful summer day, I went to the beach to go swimming. The water was cool as I slid my body into it. I could see Pidgeot flying around high above me, and I was glad to know he was enjoying himself.  
  
I swam out, not knowing how far out I was going. Not knowing, or even caring very much. I did this often; I was an expert swimmer.  
  
No matter how good I was though, nothing prepared me for what happened next. My foot suddenly pressed against something squishy; and then I felt something else wrap around my leg and start to quickly pull me down. I plunged under the water, and that's when I saw my assailant. A Tentacruel. A very angry Tentacruel. It wrapped its tentacles around my legs more tightly, and I felt the sting of a thousand bees all over me; I was in deep trouble, as well as deep water. Tentacruel had used his poison sting attack.  
  
I fought my way to the surface; my body quickly numbing and becoming paralyzed. I screamed for Pidgeot again and again until my voice gave out, my face became numb and my mouth wasn't able to move. I couldn't' see or hear Pidgeot- I was alone. My vision gave out, and a wave of panic raced though me when I could no longer breathe on my own. I couldn't tell if my eyes were open or closed; I couldn't feel anything-- I didn't even know if I was still above the surface of the water. I knew now that there wasn't a chance I would be found alive...and with a strange numbing sensation, I realized I was dead. I had to be. I was blind, couldn't hear, nor even breathe--  
  
Muffled sounds entered my awareness--a man's voice; a heaviness upon my chest... and the sounds and feelings weaved in and out of my awareness again and again. Slowly, everything became black.  
  
So that was how I died.  
  
Or so I thought.  
  
I awakened on my blanket on the beach near dusk. The sun had already set and Pidgeot was standing guard close to me. Mother must be worried sick. I was tired and achy, but much to my amazement, I could move again.   
  
I was alive.  
  
But why? How? I was so far out and Pidgeot had been nowhere in sight. Maybe that Tentacruel had a change of heart and took me back to shore, but that was like asking a shark not to eat its bloody prey.   
  
It was then I noticed that something was dangling from Pidgeot's neck. It seemed to be a rolled up note with a tarnished silver ring with a Celtic design around it. I held the ring in my hand as I read the note, which said,  
  
"Cassidy-  
  
As I write this note I am watching you sleep. Not too long ago I thought for sure you were going to die, but then the antidote finally kicked in and you started to breathe again.  
  
Because our social class now separates us, I cannot reveal my identity. Long ago this was not the case, but we are grown up now. I am giving you my ring so that you may always remember the man who saved your life.  
  
Sincerely,  
  
a humble dweller of the north  
  
P.S. Did you know that you look beautiful when you sleep?"  
  
Thoughtfully I slid the ring onto my right ring finger and hugged Pidgeot. "Did you see who wrote this?" He cawed in response.  
  
Who had saved my life? I read the note again. The person who wrote it must have known me at some point in time because he knew my name. Then again, I was a part of the Collins family, so everyone in town knew my name. However, he used it informally--Cassidy instead of Miss Fillmore. Social class--nearly everyone in town was middle class; the poor lived out by the docks for the most part. "Long ago this was not the case, but we are grown up now..." We~ the only other person I knew before I "grew up" was...  
  
Butch Fox. When I knew him, he was the poorest kid in the school, and lived on the northern most edge of town. Actually, he lived outside of town; about 10 miles north of Collinwood. "A humble dweller of the north"-- all the signs pointed straight to Butch. I had to know. When I got home, no one was there. There was a note on the table saying there had been some sort of crisis at Collinwood and they weren't going to be home for the rest of the night. I called Collinwood, yet no one answered; so I would be in the dark for a day. Oh well; there was always trouble at Collinwood anyway.  
  
After I made a TV dinner for myself, I went upstairs to sift through my box of memories, trying to find a picture of Butch. I eventually found an old yearbook, which was good enough for me. I found the picture of him and showed it to Pidgeot. "If this boy were now a man; was he the one who saved my life?"  
  
He cawed, excitedly. That settled it; I was going to go see Butch tomorrow.  
  
The next day was a beautiful day. It was unusually cool for the middle of summer and the birds were singing their beautiful songs. I packed a light lunch and a hair brush and some other things and went outside with Pidgeot. I climbed onto his back and smoothed the feathers on his head. "Are you ready?"  
  
He flapped his wings, and suddenly we were soaring through the air, up towards the clouds. I deeply inhaled the sweet scent of the air, enjoying the rush that came over me every time we flew. I often liked to sing different songs as we flew, and recently a new song had come out on the radio by my favorite band, Creed. So for this flight, I decided to sing it.  
  
iWhen dreaming I'm guided through another world  
Time and time again  
At sunrise I fight to stay asleep  
'Cause I don't want to leave the comfort of this place  
'Cause there's a hunger, a longing to escape  
From the life I live when I'm awake  
  
So let's go there  
Let's make our escape  
Come on, let's go there  
Let's ask can we stay?  
  
Can you take me higher?  
To the place where blind men see  
Can you take me higher?  
To the place with golden streets  
  
Although I would like our world to change  
It helps me to appreciate  
Those nights and those dreams  
But, my friend, I'd sacrifice all those nights  
If I could make the Earth and my dreams the same  
The only difference is  
To let love replace all our hate  
  
So let's go there  
Let's make our escape  
Come on, let's go there  
Let's ask can we stay?  
  
Can you take me higher?  
To the place where blind men see  
Can you take me higher?  
To the place with golden streets  
  
Up high I feel like I'm alive for the very first time  
Sit up high, I'm strong enough to take these dreams  
And make them mine  
  
Can you take me higher?  
To the place where blind men see  
Can you take me higher?  
To the place with golden streets/i  
  
  
I smiled and enjoyed the feel of the wind against my face and hair. "Can you take me higher, Pidgeot?"  
  
Pidgeot cooed and we flew soared above a nearby cloud. It was so great, flying around up there like a bird. Before long I could see the long dirt road that went to Butch's house; Watson Road. Barely anyone lived down there, and it was a beautiful area. When we landed, it seemed as though we were in the 17th century; the land was untouched by technology.  
  
As I walked up to his house, knots formed in my stomach. The house, about 350 years old, was in shambles and looked quite empty. A barn nearby had fallen over, and I could hear a creaky old shutter bang against the old clapboards.  
  
I jumped when I heard a voice behind me. "This here is private property, young lady!" I turned only to see a short old man holding a double-barreled shotgun- pointed at me.  
  
"I-I'm here to see Butch!" I stammered.  
  
The old man cocked an eyebrow. "A pretty young girl like you cam all the way out here to see my grandson? What's he done now?"  
  
"Well, he saved my life yesterday and I wanted to thank him for it!"  
  
The man looked me over. "You're a Collins, ain't ya? Well, we don't want none of your filthy money! Now get off o' my property." He came closer, still pointing the gun.  
  
Suddenly I heard a loud bang- the screen door of the house slamming shut. Butch came running out to us. "Grandpa! Put the gun down! It's ok, really."  
  
The old man gave Butch an unapproving look and threw his hands up. "Young people these days…"  
  
Butch looked at me as he scratched the back of his head nervously. "That's my grandpa," he said sheepishly. "He's a little senile. Do you want to come in?"  
  
I nodded, and we walked up the creaky steps in to the dark house, where I was led up some rickety stairs to a bedroom. The room was sparsely furnished, with an old bed in the corner and a bureau by the window. On the bureau was a pack of Newport cigarettes and some candles. In places plaster was falling off the wall, and there was an empty light socket in the ceiling. A shoebox by the bed had an ashtray sitting on it.   
  
"Welcome to my five-star bedroom," Butch said dully, "a real shithole, eh?"  
  
"My god," I mumbled.  
  
Butch sat on the bed. "So, what are you doing here?" he asked.  
  
I pulled the note from my pocket. "Don't think I couldn't figure out who this was!"  
  
Butch blushed.  
  
I sat down next to him. "What you did yesterday meant a lot to me."  
  
"I only did what was right," he said quietly, "Your Pidgeot found me and flew me to where you were. At that point, you were gasping for air and barely conscious-you didn't respond to anything I said or did-it was like you didn't even know I was there. By the time I had you back to shore and on the beach, you had stopped breathing. I thought for sure you were going to die, but the antidote you had in your backpack worked faster than I thought it would." He rose and crossed to the bureau where he retrieved a cigarette and lit it up. "How was Pokemon Tech?"  
  
"How did you know?"   
  
"The whole town knows!"  
  
I looked down at my hands. "I could have used some friends," I said quietly and met Butch's gaze.   
  
"I though you had your sister there," he said, "Jes-"  
  
"I don't want to talk about it." I mumbled. His brow creased, but then he shrugged and continued. "The only reason I asked was because I'm starting my own Pokemon journey soon. I know it's a lot later than most other Pokemon trainers, so I was wondering if maybe you could give me a couple tips."  
  
I smiled. "Charmanders come in handy when your lighter runs out of fluid."  
  
He blushed again.  
  
I stood up and joined him by the bureau. "In your letter you said you couldn't reveal your identity because class separates us. I'm not as snooty as the other Collinses, Butch-I may be a Collins, but that doesn't matter. We were friends before."  
  
"But then public school got to be too good for you." he spat.   
  
That remark pierced my heart like a knife. "I see your grandfather has gotten to you..."  
  
"No," he said, turning away, "You got to me."  
  
I began to speak, but he halted me. "How do you think it felt to come to school the next day, and you weren't there? How do you think it felt to come in every day, hoping to see you? I thought about you for every damn day since you left school. I never once heard from you! You and Jesse just left without an explanation!"  
  
I stared out the cracked window fighting back tears; wishing I never left school. Of the few friends I ever had, Jesse and Butch were the closest. And they were the ones hurting me most.  
  
"Aren't you going to say anything?"   
  
I steeled myself and faced him. "I was going to ask you if you wanted to be friends again, but I guess I already know the answer, don't I? You don't even know what happened, and you don't even want an explanation! It was eight years ago, and you've held this kind of grudge? Why the hell did you save my life yesterday? Why did you bother, Butch?"   
  
Not able to stand looking at him, or keep my control, I fled the room and began to run down the stairs. I vaguely heard him call my name, but I didn't care. Why did he? It wasn't until he caught me, half way down the stairs, that I actually stopped. Just feeling his strong arms around me had a calming affect, and I knew at that moment he did care about me, no matter how much he hurt inside. And I just lost it. I cried so much, having hidden my feelings for so long. I hadn't opened up to anyone-- not like this-- since that night in the woods. I had bottled up so much for so long-- and the bottle had just broken.  
  
He stroked my hair softly. "I think we have a lot to talk about, Cass. I shouldn't have said--"  
  
"I know."  
  
We walked back to his room and he shut the door. "What's happened?"  
  
I sighed. "Too much."  
  
He offered me a cigarette. "You look like you could use one."  
  
Looking curiously at it, I debated whether I should. I never had before...but now was not the time. I shook my head.  
  
"Ok then," he stuck it in his own mouth and lit it up. "Why did you leave school, anyway?"  
  
I sat down on the bed. "Jesse's mother was killed..and I wanted to be there for her."  
  
Butch gasped. "Cass...I'm so sorry...I had no idea."  
  
I shook my head. "No one does."  
  
He looked confused. "Why do you say that?"  
  
"Everyone in town knows Jesse ran away. They don't know why; and whenever someone in town says 'I'm sorry about Jesse' it only pisses me off! I never should have left school for her! I'm glad she's gone, you know that? Everyone always thought we were such good friends, and I wouldn't care if she died!"  
  
He sat behind me. "You would care, Cass. I'm sure you would-- after all, you were good friends!"  
  
"We were when you knew us, yes, but not now. And that's something I don't want to get into."  
  
"You should get it out--"  
  
I shook my head. "It hurts so much, Butch," I whispered.   
  
He rubbed my back. "It's okay."  
  
And so I told him. When I finally finished, he laid back on the bed and stared at the ceiling. "Wow. I'll bet they're still together."  
  
I shuddered, not really wanting to think about it. "So, you said you're going on a Pokemon journey soon?"  
  
He grinned. "You're quick to change the subject."  
  
I nodded, "I need to cheer up."  
  
"Well, yeah, I am leaving soon. Wanna come with me?"  
  
I laughed. "Your grandfather would have your head! I'm a COLLINS, remember?"  
  
He looked at me with dancing eyes. "Screw it. I need to get away from that crotchety old man. Besides, who says he ever needs to know?"  
  
I smiled. "You're serious, aren't you."  
  
His expression became serious. "I wouldn't have asked if I wasn't."  
  
We decided to leave the next day.  
  
That night, Pidgeot and I went for our last ride. Afterwards, I put him in his pokeball and wrote a note to Mom, saying why I was leaving on such short notice. I left the note and pokeball on her dresser; Pidgeot was going to stay there and keep Mom and Dad company while I was away.  
  
Things were great for about a week into our journey; that was, until we ran out of money. We had caught one pokemon- a Rattata- which Butch tried to teach Fire Spin. His lighter was dead and there wasn't a Charmander in sight. Just plenty of Rattata.  
  
So we went to Boston. Maybe there we could trade out Rattata for a Charmander, or at least lighter fluid.  
  
Boston was also the place where we met people who changed our lives forever.  
  
It was a breezy day in July. A hot breezy day with a hot wind. In other words, plain miserable. A couple of days before, I had run into Quentin, who gave us luck as well as two-hundred dollars. We knew though, that it wouldn't last for long. We decided to look for a small job that we would hold for about a week before moving on to the next city. Finding a job was difficult though, we even tried farms outside the city. Unfortunately, the summer of 1999 was absolutely horrible for farms. In fact, Rhode Island, Connecticut and Massachusetts were declared disaster areas. So much for finding a job at a farm.  
  
One day, two men approached us. They were wearing black uniforms (which must have killed them in that heat) with large red R's emblazoned upon their chests. The same kind of uniform Jesse's mother wore.   
  
"Hey, you kids need money?" one asked.   
  
"No," Butch said, "we'll only be sleeping under a bridge in a couple weeks."  
  
"Oooh, this one has spunk. I like him." the other said.  
  
"Well, how about taking a job with Team Rocket?" the first one said, "You can still catch your own pokemon, as well as catch some for our boss. How's it sound?"  
  
I smiled. "Sounds like a job; do we get paid?"  
  
They both nodded.  
  
Team Rocket; a wonderful organization where we got to steal- not catch- pokemon day in and day out for Giovanni, our boss. The air quality at Team Rocket Headquarters was absolutely wretched; Butch became extremely sick with strep, and he had laryngitis forever after that. His voice was never the same again, and he lost it often. Fellow Rockets nicknamed him Froggy. During our orientation, we watched videos of the elite Team Members. Two of them had only been with Team Rocket a year or so, and when I saw them, I couldn't believe my eyes.   
  
Jesse and James had both been recruited. Again, Jesse had outdone me. I felt my blood begin to boil; again I had competition.  
  
Again I was sure to come out on top.  
  
Jesse and James were soon on a prized Pikachu mission, and that was their downfall. Soon the Boss was calling them "idiots" and "imbeciles", and kept telling Butch and I that we were better.   
  
Our greatest idea was for a breeding center out in some nowhere town. Everything was fine for a little while, until one day. We were preparing a shipment of pokemon for the boss, when Butch noticed something strange, like a flashing in the room where we kept the pokemon. He checked it out and said it was a pikachu, but I knew for a fact that we hadn't taken in any pikachus recently. There was something fishy going on...  
  
I decided to check it out myself. Nothing prepared me for who I saw next. When I turned on the light in the room, the first thing I saw was a long, crimson mane of hair. Jesse. Standing next to her was James and four other kids whom I did not recognize. Were they trying to steal our pokemon? The four kids weren't Team Rocket members, so what the hell were they doing here?  
  
"I knew there was something rotten back here, " I sneered, "and I was right! Looks like rats have snuck in."   
  
"What should we do?" Butch asked.  
  
"We'll exterminate them."  
  
The youngest one of the group began to whine, "We're not afraid of creeps like you!" and a Meowth added, "Let's mix it up!"  
  
I crossed my arms. "You don't know who you're dealing with!"  
  
"But we'll be glad to show you!"  
  
"Prepare for trouble and make it double!"  
  
"To infect the world with devastation!"  
  
"To blight all peoples in every nation!"  
  
"To denounce the goodness of truth and love!"  
  
"To extend our wrath to the stars above!"  
  
"Cassidy!"  
  
"Butch"  
  
"We're Team Rocket circling Earth all day and night!"  
  
"Surrender to us now or you will surely lose the fight!"  
  
"That's right."   
  
Our evolved Rattata, Raticate, jumped in front of us with a dramatic "CATE!"  
  
"Copycat!" Meowth said, pointing an accusing finger. I honestly didn't care. I deliberately wrote that motto to go against Jesse's grain. I had heard a while back they had a motto, and I found it out, and changed it to suit my liking. I seriously hoped it got under her skin because she got under MINE. James said something, but I ignored him.  
  
"Jesse," I said, "it's been a while."  
  
James' eyes widened. "Jesse, do you know that girl?"  
  
I almost lost it. How the hell could he forget??? Had I really changed all that much?  
  
"She used to hang around with me- she was jealous because I'm so beautiful!" she said.  
  
"You haven't changed all that much, unfortunately for you!" I retorted.  
  
"And you're still a selfish little brat!"  
  
And then they started whining. I considered screaming at them to shut up, but then a though struck me. "Save your arguments for the Boss,"I said, "when he finds out you're stealing his pokemon!"  
  
"We're in trouble!" Meowth said.  
  
Butch started talking, and soon the four kids tried escaping. Within minutes Jesse, James and the kids, were in cages and the cops arrived.  
  
After we waved goodbye to all of them, who were hauled away in a cop truck, Butch turned and asked, "Weren't there four kids?"  
  
"Yeah, why?"  
  
"I though only three kids were in the cage..."  
  
That night, I blew off Butch's observation; and I really shouldn't have. The next day was slow, but that evening was just plain horrible. Around eight or so, Officer Jenny suddenly burst in with the four kids and arrested us. She threw us in the back of the cop truck, the very truck the kids had been in the day before, and then they hauled us off to jail. Our plan had soured so quickly...  
  
They put us in the same cell, since some other criminals they were holding had escaped by digging a huge, deep hole.   
  
That night I couldn't sleep. Our first time in jail, with no way out. We were only 17; supposed to be out on a pokemon journey-- a pokemon journey we could never resume. I cried so much that night- silently. I hadn't really kept anything in since Butch and I reconciled our friendship, but for some reason that night- I did.   
  
Butch. Being on the top bunk, I peered over the edge to see him. In the darkness I could only see faint outlines, but I knew he was awake.   
  
"Cassidy?"  
  
So he knew I was awake too. "Yeah?"  
  
"You scared?"  
  
I sniffled, trying not to cry again. "Yeah."   
  
He looked up in my direction, probably realizing just that, "Oh Cass.....come down here."  
  
Climbed down and laid beside him; he placed his arm around me. "It's gonna be all right."  
  
"I wish I could believe you."  
  
He looked me in the eye. "Cass, when I say it's gonna be all right, and I haven't had a cigarette in hours, you know I have some hope."  
  
I laughed a little. It was completely true; Officer Jenny had confiscated his cigarettes and slapped him with a $60 fine. And he had hope. I laid my head on his chest, and could hear his heartbeat.  
  
A couple minutes passed before either of us spoke again.  
  
"Cass, I don't like our motto, " Butch said, "I mean, 'to denounce the goodness of truth and love?' What's that supposed to mean?"  
  
"I hate Jesse."  
  
"That doesn't answer my question."   
  
I lifted my head. "Why do you care?"  
  
"Cass, it almost sounds like you hate the idea of love."  
  
The idea of love--"Butch-- I don't like our motto either--but it's the only way I can get back at Jesse!"  
  
He shook his head. "Cass, it really doesn't sit well with me...I mean, I know you were sore at Jesse about her and James-- but we don't even know if they are a couple. The goodness of truth and love Cass-- it has nothing to do with them. James doesn't even remember you now-- for your sake and mine..let it go. You don't have to let go of your anger for Jesse- but your anger against love..."  
  
A chill went up my spine. Butch and I had never talked about love before- not like this- and I was apprehensive of replying to him. I had a feeling I knew where this was going...  
  
For months now I had been tearing myself apart. After years I held out for James, but since Butch and I had reconciled our friendship I had become increasingly attracted to him. I didn't want to risk falling for him though- because if it turned sour- or if it was one way- I would be stuck with him. We were partners before friends- or that's the way Team Rocket wanted it. If we suddenly were to hate each other, it would be too bad.  
  
But I couldn't help who I fell for.  
  
At that moment I finally admitted it to myself.  
  
I had fallen in love with Butch.  
  
And now he was talking about love. What could I say to that? I didn't even know if I was ready for a relationship...  
  
"I don't hate the idea of love Butch..."  
  
"Good; and you know what, I don't think you'll have to worry about getting back at Jesse after the boss finds out about what she did."  
  
With that, he kissed my forehead.  
  
The next morning, Giovanni came and bailed us out personally, then used a Hypno to hypnotize Officer Jenny into forgetting the whole incident. He warned us though, that the next time we wouldn't be so lucky. We assured him that there wasn't going to be a next time, and he was happy with us.  
  
Unfortunately, we were wrong. 


	2. Part Two

The Secret Past of Cassidy Falcon Fillmore  
  
by Megan McGory  
  
*A/N* There are references to the TV Show "Dark Shadows" in this, but it's not enough to be a crossover so to speak. You can't even tell unless you've watched both shows. Sorry this story is in 2 parts, it's really only one, but you know, like the movie "Titanic" it's long and has to be split somewhere! Yes, this is a different version of my story but only different because I fixed all the typos.  
  
  
We were working on Mandarin Island in the Orange Archipelago about six months later, trying to find a way to control pokemon on a large scale. We had captured a Drowzee before heading to the Orange Islands to start work on one of Giovanni's laboratories. Everything was going fine until one day when Butch noticed something on one of our cameras we had set up facing the ocean.   
  
"Cass, look at this!"  
  
I looked, and saw the spiky black hair that belonged to that whiny brat who uncovered our breeding center secret. "Well, look who's come to visit."  
  
"It's that kid with the pikachu."  
  
I smirked. "I think it's payback time."  
  
Later on in the day, after we had used Drowzee to catch that pikachu, we received something else. As we landed on the lower level of the laboratory, a Meowth said, "I am here to soive you!"  
  
My mouth almost dropped to the floor. "A talking Meowth?"  
  
"Could it be?"  
  
Almost as if on que, a horrible pushing and banging sound rang though the lab. All of the sudden, Jesse and James managed to squeeze out of the same pipe Meowth had come from.  
  
"That was unpleasant." James said.  
  
"Our old friends."  
  
Jesse looked at me, horrified. "Cassidy?!"  
  
"And Buttch!"  
  
Butch frowned. "The name is Butch!"  
  
Jesse stood and pointed at me. "There's only room for one Team Rocket!"  
  
"Then prepare for trouble!" Butch said.  
  
"You're the ones who should prepare for trouble!"  
  
"Oh," I said, "You two don't even know how to say the motto!"  
  
"You just made your trouble, double!" James said.  
  
"I have the next line!"  
  
"To protect the world from devastation!"  
  
"To infect the world with devastation!"  
  
"To unite all peoples within our nation!"  
  
"To blight all peoples in every nation!"  
  
"To denounce the evils of truth and love!"  
  
"Goodness of truth and love!"  
  
"Reach to the stars above!"  
  
"Wrath to the stars above!"  
  
"Jesse!"  
  
"Cassidy!"  
  
"James!"  
  
"Butch!"  
  
"Team Rocket blast off at the speed of light!"  
  
"Team Rocket circling Earth all day and night!"  
  
"Surrender now or prepare to fight!"  
  
"Surrender to us now or you'll surely lose the fight!"  
  
"We say it just as good as you do!" Jesse said, exasperated.  
  
"So Jesse," I said, straightening up, "rumor has it you're getting kicked off Team Rocket! It's just a rumor of course, it's not official yet..."  
  
In a moment, James was at my side, holding my arm. "Did you hear any rumors about me?" He almost looked like he was going to cry.  
  
Jesse dragged him away. "I'll bet she's the one who started the rumor!" She stopped across the room. "I thought you two were still in jail!"  
  
"The boss came down to the station and bailed us out himself," Butch said.  
  
"He paid-- in person?" James asked.  
  
"The Boss never does anything like that for us.."  
  
"We're on the same team," I said, "but in different leagues."  
  
It was then that we rubbed our pokemon catch in their faces. They retaliated by trying to attack our pokemon- to steal them. We only ended up taking control of all their pokemon, and turned them against them. As soon as they realized they were going to lose, they latched onto each other, screaming in fright.  
  
Their pokemon launched their strongest attacks on them, all at once. Victrebell had used a sleep powder on James, thankfully, but Arbok lunged at Jesse and bound her. "No Arbok! Let go of me!"  
  
I smiled at Arbok sunk her fangs into Jesse's neck.  
  
Suddenly, I could see that tentacruel again; holding me under the water until I couldn't breathe, stinging me everywhere. I had done nothing to it, but it still attacked me. I could see Pidgeot, rushing towards me with its talons sharp and ready for the kill- my worst nightmare...  
  
Arbok was killing Jesse, and I was standing aside, doing nothing- and smiling? What the hell had become of me?  
  
"Arbok, stop!!!" I screamed.  
  
Thankfully, she did, and slithered away. I ran to Jesse and knelt beside her. Her neck was bleeding profusely, and there was a thick, yellow liquid oozing from the wounds. Arbok had injected poison. Jesse could die.  
  
It would be my fault. I cradled the unconscious Jesse in my arms and just cried. "Butch, get me a potion; get me an antidote- hell get me thousands!" I screamed.  
  
"Why? I thought you hated her!"  
  
I glared at him. "Does that make it okay for me to kill her too?"  
  
His face dropped when he saw my meaning. "My god!"  
  
"Hurry the fuck up!" I screamed.  
  
It took forever. I only sat there and cried, holding my sister for what could be the last time. A lot had happened, but Jesse didn't deserve this. "To denounce the evils of truth and love...." James was going to live--- but would he live without Jesse? I doubted it. All this happened because I was jealous! What had Jesse ever REALLY done to me? Nothing! Nothing at all.  
  
Butch returned with the antidote, and I quickly healed Jesse as well as I could. "We'll put them on the sidewalk before they wake up," I said. Butch only nodded.  
  
When all was done, we tried to go back to work. We didn't talk; we just did what we had to do.  
  
Within hours, they were back.  
  
I couldn't believe my eyes. They were at the door, smiling and laughing as if nothing had ever happened, with a huge cart near them.  
  
"I can't believe they're back!" Butch said.  
  
"We've brought a little peace offering!" James said.  
  
"We've turned over a new leaf and decided to help you as fellow Team Rocket members should!"  
  
"And to prove there are no hard feelings we brought something that might come in handy." he revealed the cart full of pokeballs.  
  
Butch looked at me. "What do you think?"  
  
Something was nagging me. Jesse couldn't have known I'd just saved her life-- why was she suddenly acting so nice?  
  
"I think we could use the pokeballs," I said lamely.  
  
We let them in and as Jesse came into view I asked, "So, what brought on this sudden change of heart?"  
  
"We decided we'd like to be friends!"  
  
"Let's call a truck so we can be one big happy Team Rocket!" James said.  
  
Something was definitely going on. "This isn't like you two."  
  
"Well," Jesse said matter-of-factly, "That's because there's more than just the two of us now!"  
  
I was confused- until they heaved the cart towards us. As it picked up speed, Officer Jenny and the brats jumped out of the cart. It swerved to the right and crashed into the wall, pokeballs spilling across the floor. Should have figured.  
  
"You're under arrest you pokemon thieves!"  
  
"Yeah, gimmie back my Pikachu!"  
  
"Yeah, gimmie back my Togepi!"   
  
I rolled my eyes- like she really had to add that 'gimmie back my togepi' - it was overkill.   
  
"It's all over guys."  
  
"Well, " Butch said, "let's see if the pokemon agree with that, shall we?"  
  
The brats began to whine again. I couldn't take it and commanded Drowzee to make the pokemon attack- all of them- again.  
  
Everything was happening so fast- I knew if I wasn't careful that everything could end up as before.. as a disaster.  
  
Suddenly, the twerp began to provoke his Pikachu to attack him. Heck, I thought that Drowzee was getting to him; but at the last second I realized his true intent. As he ran to the main control, my heart leaped into my throat.   
  
That Pikachu's Thunder Attack caused the main control to explode, and we had suddenly lost all our work, and all our power. Officer Jenny cleared out the lab quite quickly; only giving us enough time to run up to a balcony where we fought Jesse, James, and the twerp again.  
  
I was sure Drowzee's Metronome would finish the fight and we would be victorious. While we was using Metronome, I noticed that Togepi was copying Drowzee. Cute and harmless, right?  
  
Wrong. As soon as Metronome ended, Togepi's arms glowed bright blue. Togepi had just learned Metronome- and with two Metronome attacks-- I knew disaster was about to strike.  
  
Then I heard, "PIKA!"   
  
When I came to, I was being placed- again- into the back of a cop truck. Butch was at my side, and he smiled when he saw me. I sat up and looked out the window, where I could see the twerps, Officer Jenny, and Jesse and James. They had all taken quite a beating from--  
  
What happened anyway? Then I noticed the huge pile of rubble..the Lab?  
  
The truck began to drive off. "Looks like we're carted off again!" we cried.  
  
That night, in our small jail cell, I stood next to the wall looking thought the small slit of a window with bars over it, staring at the moon. It seemed so large, being so close to the ocean as we were. I only wished we could be on a beach somewhere, staring at the stars and the moon. We had done that often while in the Orange Islands.  
  
Butch came up behind me and placed his hand on my shoulder. "What's wrong, Cass?"  
  
I leaned back against him. "What isn't?"  
  
"Oh, you know the boss will get us out in the morning..."  
  
"Yeah-"  
  
Butch lightly stroked my hair. "I know it's more than that."  
  
I turned to face him. "What happened to me today?"  
  
"After Drowzee's Metronome?"  
  
I nodded.  
  
He took a deep breath. "There was a huge explosion." He took my place by the window and stared up at the moon. "Ground Zero was just underneath where we were standing- I was thrown clear of the lab. Everyone else was knocked down, and nearly as soon as I landed, Officer Jenny picked me up and cuffed me. She demanded to know where you were, and by this time all the dust and smoke was starting to settle and clear. When I saw the lab...and we couldn't find you...I wanted to tear out of the handcuffs and dig through the rubble to find you..." He wiped his eyes. "They wouldn't let me help. One of the kids- Tracey, I believe, used his Venonat's radar to find your body. We all rushed over to where he said it was..and.. I--"  
  
He paused, and I could see in the moonlight that a tear had slipped down his cheek.  
  
"Go on," I said, "I need to know."  
  
"I thought for sure you were dead, " he whispered, "Your body was trapped under the satellite dish. I suppose that's a good thing, because it served as a shield for you. Jesse had Arbok use its Acid attack to burn a hole through the metal..and when they pulled you out I couldn't tell if you were alive or dead."  
  
I hugged him, and as I did I could tell he was crying. He was never one to admit when we was crying, but tonight he just didn't care.  
  
"I thought I lost you Cassidy..." he said, pulling away slightly and looking me in the face, "When they told me you were alive you don't know how I felt." He stroked my hair and gazed deeply into my eyes. "I love you, Cass."  
  
I caressed his cheek and gazed into his eyes, deciding right then and there this wasn't worth it anymore. Both Jesse and I had almost been killed today, all because of Team Rocket.  
  
No, we had all nearly died today.   
  
"I love you too, Butch"  
  
With those words, he kissed me. The kiss was wonderful, and I never wanted it to end; he was so gentle, so loving, so passionate.  
  
"Butch," I said, breaking away, "I'm sick of working away from Team Rocket Headquarters. When we're out like this, we're always in danger."  
  
"I know, but this is all we've got. It's a job."  
  
He was right. Without Team Rocket, we had no money, no food, no house. Our pokemon training career was shot- or was it? Who knew, but we couldn't just up and leave. At that moment, I wished we never even joined.  
  
Giovanni was NOT happy with us, but he was even more upset with Jesse and James for siding with the law. Another strike against them.  
  
At my suggestion, Butch and I took jobs in the science labs at Team Rocket Headquarters. We studied pokemon behavior and recorded new findings. We weren't a part of the experiments- we didn't conduct them, we only knew code initials for them and they were useless to us anyway.  
  
It was like this for two years.  
  
I was looking through a proposal for a new experiment involving humans. Of all the experiments, this was the only one I was to know about. The A.I. Project.  
  
Artificial Insemination.  
  
I was appalled. How could Giovanni even think of doing such a thing? As I went to his office to discuss the matter, a thought crossed my mind. Who would he use for this project? Or worse, who would want to volunteer?  
  
I quietly opened the door. "Sir?"  
  
He turned to face me from his huge, black leather chair. "What do you want, Cassidy?"  
  
I shut the door and held up the file labeled "A.I. Project." "What the hell is this?"  
  
He stood and crossed the room, only to take the folder from my hand. "This is the future of Team Rocket."  
  
"Who would agree to participate in that?"  
  
He shrugged. "I don't care."  
  
"What do you mean, 'you don't care?'"  
  
"I have someone in mind."  
  
I folded my arms across my chest. "Who?"  
  
He chuckled. "Oh, two agents whom I am terminating today. Two agents, I might add, whom you know very well."  
  
"Jesse?!" I shrieked.  
  
He nodded.  
  
"You sick bastard!! What the hell are you thinking?"  
  
He turned. "I hope you realize that you're the last one she'll see as a member of Team Rocket."  
  
"What do you-?"  
  
He cut me off. "You're going to take her 'R' from her, tomorrow morning."  
  
"I will do no such thing!"  
  
He whirled around, anger darkening his expression. "What did you just say?"  
  
"I said I will do no such thing!"  
  
He roughly grabbed the collar of my dress, bringing me closer. "Like hell you will! If you don't, I'll see to it you end up the same way she does."  
  
I glared at him. "And what's that supposed to mean?"  
  
He kissed me- seizing my mouth with nothing but hate and horrible intent, and I wanted to vomit.  
  
"And you'd better show you enjoy taking her 'R'," he said, releasing me, "Or it will be ten times as worse!"  
  
Defeated, I left the room. He wanted me to take her 'R'- the most humiliating way to leave Team Rocket. I held nothing against her any longer, but she would forever hate me for this. I had no choice. "I'll see to it you end up the same way she does..." those very words sent a chill down to the core of my soul.  
  
I ran by to my quarters and cried for hours...the bastard.  
  
It seemed as though all I could do was sit by ad watch as he destroyed my sister. If he was going to destroy her, then I was going to destroy something much more important to him.  
  
I would destroy Team Rocket.  
  
When Butch entered our quarters that night, he looked somber. "Did you hear about Jesse and James?"  
  
I nodded, and that's when he saw my tear-stained face. "God, what happened?"  
  
I ran a hand through my hair. "Do you have any idea what he has planned for them?"  
  
"Besides firing them? No."  
  
I stood and walked closer to him. "That fucking bastard wants us to destroy them! You wouldn't believe what he wants with Jesse!"  
  
Butch looked deeply into my eyes. "He doesn't-"  
  
"Yes he does," I sniffed, "The fucker said if I didn't take her 'R' that he would do the same to - " the words caught in my throat and all that came out was a sob. Butch wiped the tears from my cheek, concerned. "Who?"  
  
It pained me to say it, but I did.   
  
"Me."  
  
He backed up. "You?!"  
  
I nodded. "That bastard kissed me, and he had no right to kiss me like that...."  
  
Butch picked up the nearest lamp and heaved it at the wall. "The son of a bitch! I'll fucking kill him!"  
  
"Butch, don't!"  
  
He looked at me then, and all I could see was anger, hate, and fear. I came closer, and with a shaky hand, caressed his cheek. "I know you're just as afraid as I am." I pulled him down onto the bed. "We can't do anything to stop it."  
  
"And let him-"  
  
"He'll kill us, Butch!"  
  
He stopped, examining my face and eyes. "You're right."  
  
I silently cooked our supper that night; we both weren't looking forward to the next day.  
  
That evening, just after I had shut our bedroom light off, Butch said, "We have to do something!"  
  
"I already know what I'm going to do." I said.  
  
"What?"  
  
"I'm going to destroy Team Rocket." I whispered.  
  
The next morning, when I awakened, everything was dreadfully quiet. Butch was already up, looking our the window, smoking a cigarette. The sun hadn't even risen yet.  
  
"It's only a few hours away," he said, "their nightmare hand't even begun yet." I wrapped my arm around his waist. "It's our nightmare too."  
  
We did barely anything except get dressed until Giovanni summoned us. I didn't want to do this. I only wished I never left Collinsport- that WE hadn't left Collinsport. I wished I had never been jealous of Jesse- I hated myself at that moment. Now, my dead hatred for Jesse would yet destroy her.  
  
Or would it?  
  
As we "strode" into Giovanni's office, I caught his eyes on me- pressuring me- this would have to be the best act I ever performed. He was expecting me to say something.  
  
"So Jesse," I said, thinking of our last encounter, "the rumors are true. You're getting kicked off the team at last."  
  
I feigned the most wicked smile I could, and advanced towards her. "I'm going to enjoy this." I said flatly.  
  
"Cassidy," Giovanni said, "take her 'R'."  
  
I just wanted to get it over with. I took the "R" as fast as possible, taking half her overshirt with it.  
  
Jesse looked at the floor, and I knew she had begun to cry. I wanted nothing but to hug her, to tell her I meant no harm, that I was forced to, and that it was going to be all right. But I couldn't. Tears welled up in my eyes, and I turned away.  
  
"Meowth," Giovanni said, "Come with me." Looking to Jesse and James, he said, "I'll deal with you two when I get back." He signaled to us and we all left the room.  
  
Once out in the hall, Giovanni turned to me. "Excellent performance," he said, caressing my cheek. Resisting the urge to bite him, I forcefully shoved his filthy hand off me, and a tear slid down my face.   
  
"Of course it was." I said bitterly. Butch clenched his fists, and Meowth examined us carefully.  
  
As if he understood what the Boss had made us do, he said, "Giovanni?"  
  
"What do you want?" he shot.  
  
"Well, only ta tell ya I think you're an asshole!"  
  
The cat and Giovanni glared at each other.  
  
"Those will be the last words you ever say."  
  
"Good!" the cat stuck up his middle claw. Giovanni turned to us. "Take him to the labs. Remove his vocal cords immediately!"  
  
I too, glared at him.  
  
When we got to the labs, we took Meowth into a small storage room.  
  
"What are we doin' here?" he asked.  
  
"What do you think?" Butch snapped. His fists were still clenched.  
  
"Well," Meowth said, "ya certainly ain't takin' out my vocal cords here!"  
  
"That's right," I said, "because we're not taking them out at all."  
  
He gave me a quizzical look. I continued. "As far as I'm concerned, I'm not working for that asshole. I'm working against him."  
  
"Yeah," Butch added, "She tried to stop what happened today, but the 'boss' threatened her."  
  
He ended up explaining the rest to Meowth, but just before he finished, however, we heard a gunshot.  
  
"My god," I whispered, "He's killed one of them!" I left Butch and Meowth and ran upstairs.  
  
However, by the time I got there, all there was was a huge mess of blood, streaking around a corner and down the hallway to the elevator. But, what I heard, had to be the worst; and I can't even bring myself to tell.  
  
So began our hell. From that moment on, I was sure I would bring down Team Rocket. It was I who contacted the FBI; it was I who tipped them off.  
  
It was a month later when I discovered that Giovanni had not released Jesse. Meowth, although he could, no longer spoke unless he was sure NO ONE was around.  
  
I had discovered Jesse in a cell, all by herself. She was wearing an over-sized flannel shirt and jeans, and she was crying. I had no key. She could have no visitors. I later learned from the guard that she stayed in that cell except when she was escorted to Giovanni's office or to the labs.  
  
Four and a half years later I awakened to a loud "clang" sound. I turned on the lights and there stood Meowth. "I got sometin' for ya," he said, holding up a shiny key. "You been wantin' ta see Jesse, well, I got da key!"  
  
I ran a hand through my hair. "Meowth," I said, "If I'm caught..."  
  
The cat held up two small round objects. "Sleepin' Pills! I drugged da guard."  
  
I smirked. "How many did you give him?"  
  
"Enough to keep him out a good long time!"  
  
I placed my hands on my hips. "No, seriously. How many, Meowth?"  
  
"Oh, eight..."  
  
I giggled a little. "That poor guy's liver is going to give out next year and he won't know why!"  
  
I got up and got dressed. Butch stirred a little, but I knew he wasn't going to awaken for a little while. I left a note, then tip-toed to the basement. The guard was out cold, as Meowth had said, and so we went to Jesse's cell.  
  
There were no lights, no windows, only a mattress on the floor. Jesse was asleep. I shook her lightly and she stirred violently, striking out. "Calm down, Jess!" Meowth said, "I'm here- nothin's gonna happen!"  
  
"Who else is here?" she asked.  
  
"Me," I said sheepishly, "Cassidy."   
  
"Cassidy?" Her voice sounded small, afraid. We hadn't seen or spoken to each other in four years, and hadn't been on friendly terms in over a decade. We were silent for moments, and it was Meowth who broke the silence. "Uh, I'm gonna go for watch for da guards; I'll come for ya in a little while, Cassidy."  
  
And he left the room.  
  
"What are you doing here?" Jesse asked, "I thought you hated me."  
  
I looked at her. "I did for a while, but after the incident on Mandarin Island--" I faltered, remembering that she had never known what transpired that day.  
  
"What about James? Is he here?"  
  
I shook my head. "Believe me, if I knew, I would have found a way to reunite you."  
  
She sighed, and was silent again.  
  
I took a deep breath. "Jesse, I'm sorry."  
  
"What?"  
  
"I- I'm sorry! For everything- that day when you were fired, for ruining our friendship...."  
  
She sniffled, and then I was concerned. Why was she crying?  
  
"Cass- I've been so lonely through all these years--Meowth only found me recently--and I hate burdening him with so much... It's nice to know I have a friend- I think."  
  
I hugged her. "I'm bringing down Team Rocket, Jess, and I'm gonna get you out of here. Tonight."  
  
"No!"  
  
I pulled away. "What?"  
  
"I can't leave-- if they catch me-- they'll beat me again. I can't be caught- not now!"  
  
"Jesse, I'll do my best to get you out through the gates tonight- they won't catch you!"  
  
"I don't want to chance it,- it's too dangerous! It's dangerous for me- but more importantly..." she stopped abruptly.  
  
"What is it?" I couldn't think of any reason why she would want to pass up this chance.  
  
"My baby, Cassidy."  
  
"My god," I whispered, "How far along are you?"  
  
"About three months... they've stopped all the tests and whatever else they were doing in the labs-- and Giovanni stopped...bothering me."  
  
"He did this?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
Now it all made sense. She would be pretty safe as long as she was carrying Giovanni's heir and the future head of Team Rocket; if it even existed by the time he died.  
  
The months passed quickly. Meowth would occasionally drug the guard and I would visit Jesse; but he told me that once he escaped himself that we wouldn't be able to do this anymore. As her pregnancy progressed, Jesse and I became closer friends than we had been.   
  
A month before she was due, Meowth suddenly disappeared. There was a search for a while, but within a week Giovanni gave up. With the FBI on his case now, he could care less about a mangy cat pokemon who "couldn't talk". I was glad to know he finally made it out; wishing that, when the time came, it would be as easy for Jesse.   
  
One day while on my way to the labs, I stopped by her cell door and peered in the small window.  
  
She wasn't there.  
  
When Butch returned to our quarters that night, he looked somber. "I overheard some doctors talking today," he said flatly, "The heir of Team Rocket has been born."  
  
"Jesse had the baby?"  
  
He nodded as he sat in a chair. "I asked one of the guys in the lab near me, and he said the baby had been born early this morning." His eyes met mine, full of sorrow.  
  
A chill went down my spine. "It's dead, Butch, isn't it?"  
  
"Yeah." he paused. "How did you know?"  
  
"It's fucking typical of Giovanni!" I cried, "He would do this- especially to Jesse!"  
  
Butch gave me a quizzical look. "Why would he kill his own flesh and blood?"  
  
"Maybe it wasn't his."  
  
"How could it not be? C'mon Cass."  
  
"Butch," I said, "the day before he terminated them, he told me he planned to use Jesse in the A.I. Project."  
  
"Artificial Insemination." he murmured.  
  
"Yeah. He wouldn't have qualms about disposing that child if it weren't his!"  
  
Butch stood and cradled me in his arms, as I began to cry. "We gotta get out of here," he said, "It's no longer safe- if he did that to one of his own former Elite Members- he'd have no problem doing it to traitors like us."  
  
"Jesse has to escape first," I whispered.  
  
For the next two days, we planned for her escape. The day we set out plan into motion, I hacked into the main computer system and shut off the surveilance around the perimeter of the compound. It was quite foggy, so I went to a nearby storage closet to retrieve all white clothing.  
  
I met up with Butch in a dark hall near the guard by Jesse's cell. Butch had a tranquilizer gun with him and some darts, and skillfully shot the guard. We ran for the cell as soon as the man slumped over. We were able to quickly get her outside; but it was here our timing went wrong. The fog had cleared somewhat now as well.  
  
The shooting practice for new trainees had just ended, and everyone was heading to the mess hall for lunch. We should have known someone would spot her as she ran through the back field.  
  
By the time she was spotted though, Butch and I were back in our quarters, watching from our fifth story window. She was just about out of view and into the woods when Rocket Members gave chase. They shot- and hit- their target.  
  
Paralyzed with shock, I could only stare. After all our careful planning...everything backfired. Watching it from such a distance made everything seem to happen in slow motion.  
  
Then, the unbelievable happened.  
  
Two figures emerged from the woods, both men. One had periwinkle hair--and the only man I knew with that hair was James. The other man with him had black hair, and as soon as I saw the pikachu with him I knew who it was. James, and the brat who so often liked to land us in jail, were now on our side.   
  
I had to be dreaming- just waiting to wake up. There was NO way they could have known what we were planning, and their timing couldn't have been more perfect. Too perfect. The former Brat sent out a Charizard, and as he fought the Rocket Members, James picked up Jesse and carried her from the field. The Charizard won the battle, and they were gone.  
  
With my mind in a horrid mess, I fell back into a chair. Butch walked up to me with the most perplexed look on his face that I had ever seen on any human being. "Was that who I think it was? Man, talk about timing!"  
  
"Holy Shit. Butch- pinch me; then get me a drink."  
  
He lit a cigarette with shaky hands. "At least we know she's in good hands."  
  
Shortly thereafter, the Team Rocket compound was raided by the police and FBI. I had been expecting it, since I was sure James had tipped off police of our whereabouts.  
  
Giovanni led most of his team through secret tunnels until we got to the next compound- some twenty miles away. Tension kept building within Team Rocket; everyone suspected everyone else to be the leak in the system. Pretty soon, other members began to disappear without a trace. Giovanni was getting desperate. We kept getting raided; we kept having to move onto the next station.  
  
About thirteen months after Jesse escaped, Butch came back to our quarters after a long day, looking deeply troubled. I had been cooking when he came in the door, and I set down the spoon I was holding. "What's wrong?"   
  
"Everything," he mumbled, "but we'll talk after supper."  
  
Dinner was silent that night, and afterwards he pulled me into the bedroom.  
  
"You've got to get out of here tonight," he said.  
  
I was shocked. "Why? What happened?"  
  
He ran a hand through his head. "I overheard some people talking today; about you. I think it was the Boss' secretary, Samantha- talking with her best friend--Chelsea, from the lab you work in. Apparently the Boss has been suspecting you for quite some time. He tapped our phone and now knows it was you who contacted the FBI. Tomorrow he plans to terminate both of us- and you know what that means."  
  
I shuddered. After seeing what he did to Jesse and James--- I had an extra reason to be afraid. He said if I didn't do as he said, it would be ten times worse. And what I did to him was much worse than disobeying a small order.   
  
He would litreally kill me for it, and God knows what he would have done before that. I laid back on the bed. "Christ, we don't have enough time!"  
  
He laid beside me. "You'll get out of here- I promise."  
  
It was a promise he sealed with a kiss; a kiss that grew in passion and intensity. For the first time, we surrendered ourselves to one another, giving ourselves fully to each other. Temporarily forgetting about the dangers at hand, we truly made love. Our first time for both of us-- and our last.  
  
As we quickly dressed around midnight, I was worried as to where we would go. Could we go back to Collinsport? Would Giovanni follow me there to punish me and my family for my betrayal to Team Rocket?  
  
I slung my backpack over my shoulder and was climbing out the window when someone began to pound on the door. I looked to Butch quickly, my heart pounding.  
  
"Go quickly!" he said, "I'll find you, I promise!"  
  
"I love you!"  
  
He leaned out the window and kissed me; a kiss I tried to save every moment of. He broke away. "I love you too, Cassidy. Now, get out of here! Run!"  
  
As soon as my feet touched the ground I was running, and I didn't stop until I knew I was well outside of the compound border.  
  
As I stopped to catch my breath, I heard a sickening rumble behind me. As I turned to look back, the compound exploded. My stomach sank, my knees buckled, and I collapsed onto the ground. Butch was dead. He had to be- there was no way anyone could have survived the blast...  
  
That was seven months ago.  
  
I'm 27 years old, my life is going nowhere; I am alone. But I won't be for long. It is for this reason that I have not killed myself. Even though Butch cannot be with me now, I'm determined to make it through this.   
  
I have to... for the sake of my baby. 


End file.
